


I Ask The Traffic Lights If It'll Be Alright...They Say, "I Don't Know"

by LittleSparrow69



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Aftermath, Father-Son Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jack Dalton Loves Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, POV Jack Dalton, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Jack Dalton (MacGyver 2016), Recovery, Revenge, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-26 23:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21108866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSparrow69/pseuds/LittleSparrow69
Summary: It had taken over a year of planning and careful baiting to get to this moment.





	I Ask The Traffic Lights If It'll Be Alright...They Say, "I Don't Know"

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Death By A Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift. 
> 
> A/N: I decided not to go overly graphic or overly explicit but heed the warnings if non-con is an issue for you. Murdoc's potty mouth is brief and realistic in my opinion.

Jack watched through his night scope as the target came into view. It had taken over a year of planning and careful baiting to get to this moment. The figure moved with ease through the darkness to the predetermined meeting place. Three hours earlier than the agreed upon time. Assassins did tend to be a paranoid lot. Jack had him in his sights, had a clear line to take a shot more than once. He never disengaged his safety. This target would not be allowed the luxury of a clean, quick death. Jack wanted him to know exactly who was responsible for ending his life and he very much wanted to look the bastard in the eye as his sorry excuse of a soul departed from this world and into the next. 

Descending his perch in near silence, Jack left the rifle behind to be collected later and eased the handgun from the leather holster strapped to his thigh once he touched down. It was a much more effective weapon for up close and personal and that was exactly what this was. Personal. Jack circled the warehouse the target had entered. He knew the man would be casing the place for a hiding place of his own and Jack didn’t plan on letting him find one. He entered via the the southwest corner, away from the large windows on the opposite side. It was darker in this part of the building and he’d oiled the hinges meticulously to avoid making any sound as he closed in on his unsuspecting prey. 

He was ready for this. Six months ago, give or take, that wouldn’t have been the case. Jack’s pulse was steady, his breathing slow and even, not a telltale sign of the discreet anticipation that mingled with the normal adrenaline rush that often accompanied a mission. Moonlight trickled through the large windows, its pale beams barely piercing the heavy darkness. It offered just enough distinction in lighting for Jack to make out the silencer attached to the silver barrel of a Glock as it moved into view. Jack took the shot without hesitation, firing at the man’s hand. The gun dropped to the cement floor with a bitten off cry of pain but the man was already spinning in the direction the shot had come from and was reaching into his coat…Jack shot him in the kneecap and watched him go down. The pain wasn’t so easy to suppress this time and the man fumbled the gun he’d attempted to pull. It was easy for Jack to kick it out of his hand. He kicked the first gun out of reach as well when the man desperately stretched for it. With no other options available his target subsided begrudgingly, jaw tight and hands raised to signal surrender. 

“It appears you have me exactly where you want me,” Murdoc spoke. Still with the same sardonic air of superiority that had always grated on Jack’s nerves. “Now who the fuck are you and what do you want?” 

Jack was dressed head to toe in black, his face concealed. His eyesight had adjusted to the darkness and Murdoc’s pale skin stood out in stark contrast. Distantly, he relished the look of genuine shock on Murdoc’s face as he peeled back his mask and stepped into the moonlight. Too many times the element of surprise had been tipped in the assassin’s favor. Murdoc’s expression turned almost immediately derisive. 

“Agent Dalton,” Murdoc acknowledged. “Never a pleasure to see you…though if you’re here…” The man looked beyond Jack with a manic sort of glee in his eye, “…that must mean that sweet young Ang…” 

In the blink of an eye Jack’s aim shifted from the general vicinity of Murdoc’s chest to right between his eyes. “Say his name and this conversation just got a whole lot shorter.” 

It looked as though it physically pained Murdoc to not run his mouth but it was just as obvious that he was a little thrown by the change in their gameplay. 

“Let’s get this over with shall we?” Murdoc said warily. Shock and adrenaline seemed to be keeping the pain manageable for now. “You’ve had your fun, Jack. Got to rough me up a little bit and put me in my place like the big bully you are but we both know you’re not going to what it looks like you’re planning to do. Your side of the law has rules and a code of ethics to keep men like you in line. So why don’t you slap the cuffs on, bring the team out so I can say Hi to…everyone, and we’ll get this party on the road to whatever maximum security prison you think can hold me this time.” 

The corner of Jack’s mouth ticked up in grim amusement. If this mission had been totally above board it’s very likely that Murdoc’s scenario would have played out to the letter. Not this time. Jack was here to break that cycle. When he remained silent Murdoc frowned. 

“No cuffs. No team,” Jack finally spoke. “I was never here.” 

Murdoc’s expression never changed but Jack could see the budding panic in his eyes. 

“Now Jack…you wouldn’t deprive a young boy of his father would you? Cassian…” 

“Is better off without you,” Jack interrupted firmly. “I’ve got a nice family all picked out for him.”

A look of pure rage infused Murdoc’s expression, lip curling in a snarl. _Murdoc’s never more dangerous than when cornered. Don’t let him control the encounter. Don’t let him get inside your head. Keep your focus. Stick with the plan._ Jack heard the comment in his head, spoken in the calm detached manner that had once irritated him to no end. 

“And just so you know,” Jack said as the man continued to seethe. “I’ll be keeping a close eye on that boy of yours. Any of your particular brand of crazy even remotely appears hereditary…I’ll take him out too.” 

It wasn’t an idle threat. Murdoc actually made the attempt to lunge at him before his splintered knee reminded him why that wasn’t a good idea. Jack didn’t flinch at the sudden movement. He watched dispassionately as the man cried out in pain and frustration in an uncharacteristic show of emotion as he fell back to the floor. 

“We’re done here,” Jack informed the assassin, remaining oddly removed and professional about what he was about to do. 

“Wait!” Murdoc called out, his customary cool nowhere to be seen. “What? That’s it? No last words?” 

It wasn’t part of the plan and it was against his better judgement but Jack wasn’t completely heartless. He acquiesced with a dip of his chin and a slight tip of his gun. “Make it quick,” Jack said. He had a timeline to keep after all. 

The pause was infinitesimal but conveyed so much. Jack was given a split second head to toe evaluation and though left wanting, as usual, there was a level of respect, reluctant though it was that had never before been present. Never an easy read, Jack found it interesting that he could practically see Murdoc sorting through potential platitudes and discarding them in his mind as Jack’s hand remained steady, finger perched lightly on the trigger. It didn’t take long for an angry sense of resignation to permeate the assassin’s expression, or for the pervasive arrogance to return. 

“It was worth it you know,” Murdoc admitted brazenly. “Even now, knowing the consequence, I’d do it again.” 

Jack’s heartrate ticked up a notch and he willed himself to remain calm. It was telling the man’s final words were about Mac. _Distance yourself. Do not allow him to rile you._ What Murdoc said next brought to life Jack’s deepest, darkest fear. The reason he was here in the first place. 

“One taste never would have been enough,” Murdoc said with a smirk, purposefully baiting him. 

There was too much at stake for Jack to give into it. 

“You done?” He said sounding almost bored. 

Murdoc frowned though his expression was thunderous. He’d fully expected Jack to lose his cool. 

“I have to say, I didn’t think you had it in you Jack. Oh, you’re a killer for sure, but one with a conscience…a righteous moral code,” Murdoc gagged noticeably at what he considered a weakness. “But here you are, about to commit premeditated, cold-blooded murder. I wonder what our sweet little Angus would think if he could see you now. We both know how virtuous he is.” 

Jack already knew what this could mean for his place in Mac’s life if his partner ever found out about it. It was a risk he was willing to take to keep the young man safe. 

“Time’s up,” he informed his captive. 

“You’re no better than me, Dalton,” Murdoc cried out, desperation coloring what had been an obvious attempt to maintain some dignity to the bitter end. “You’ll burn for this just as surely as I will for my sins.” 

Jack had only one response to that as he chose his kill spot. 

“Well, then,” he said. “I guess I’ll see you in Hell.” 

The shot rang out as the final word left Jack’s lips. Murdoc’s head slammed back with the force of it, his body oddly stiff before giving way and collapsing to his back on the cement. Jack let out a slow even breath as Murdoc’s blood, black in the moonlight, spread outward into the shadows. 

Jack retrieved the cell phone in his pocket, a burner with only one number programed. The man on the other end picked up almost immediately. 

“Is it done?” 

“Target has been eliminated,” Jack confirmed. 

There was no obvious sound of relief on the other end but Jack felt it all the same. It echoed quietly and triumphantly through him as well. It was over. 

“How are you looking for exfil?” 

Jack checked his watch. “If cleanup and transport go smoothly I’ll be waiting when your man gets here.” 

“Good job, son,” James MacGyver said with genuine warmth. “Come on home.” 

“Copy that,” Jack responded and then hesitated. He had to ask. “How is he?” 

“He’s doing _fine_ of course,” James conveyed the standard MacGyver response. “You know how he is.” 

“I do,” Jack nodded in the dark. “How’s he really doing?” 

Jack had only been gone for thirty-six hours but it was the first time they’d truly been apart, where Jack wasn’t just a phone call away, or down the hall, or across town since _it_ happened. It could easily be another twenty-four before he made it stateside. 

“Quiet. Not sleeping,” James offered honestly. _He misses you._

“Yeah,” Jack’s voice soft. “Sounds about right.” 

“Keep your head in the game, kid,” James ordered, getting them both back on task. “Finish this and get back here where you belong.” 

Jack had his game face back on before the man even finished speaking. “Yes, sir.” 

He had six hours until ex-fil. Jack had arrived a good ten hours before Murdoc and everything was in place for when the job was done. It took less than an hour to wrap the man in a tarp, duct tape it secure and then rinse and bleach the area. It was a two hour drive into the Romanian forest to a pre-dug grave. He’d left cement mix and water there and in no time had it mixed and poured to cover the body. Jack didn’t want to take the chance of any animals scenting the remains and digging them up. By the time he returned to collect his sniper rifle and collect any evidence of his presence he managed to make it to the exfil site with twenty minutes to spare. The fact that everything had gone so smoothly was a sign that it was meant to be as far as Jack was concerned. 

Seven hours later Jack was on a plane headed back to the states and too amped up to sleep. Murdoc’s words echoed in his head. _”You’re a killer.” Just like me_. Jack had no illusions about that. Granted he’d killed others under the auspices of his country and out of self-defense of himself and his team…but what he’d done today did not fall under either of those categories. James had made sure it was a sanctioned mission, one that only a few others were privy to. Mattie knew something was up but she’d purposely been kept in the dark. The elder MacGyver had made sure that if it came down to it that he would be the one to take the fall for it. The only one. They’d done everything they could to make sure it wouldn’t blow back on any of them…but on the off chance it did James wanted to be sure Jack would be in the clear to be there for Mac. 

If someone had told Jack even a year ago that James MacGyver would become not only an ally but a friend he would never have believed it. It had taken what happened with Mac for the man to open his eyes and fully understand the consequences of his actions when he’d abandoned his son all those years ago. Jack had also had to put his pride aside and openly welcome and accept James into his life in order for Mac to do the same. Once James had realized that Jack was a much better friend than foe and embraced the advice the young man offered in regards to getting to know the capable adult his son had become…it had been the turning point in their relationship. It still wasn’t perfect by any means, and they were still getting to know one another, but James was no longer on the outside looking in. Mac had slowly, but surely allowed the man to become a part of his life. If anything, _anything_ good had come out of the trauma that Mac endured…it was that. 

Jack still had flashbacks sometimes. Nightmares, too. They both did. He suspected those would never fully go away. He wasn’t supposed to be with Mac the night he was taken. It was a last minute change of plans that Murdoc couldn’t have been aware of but sure as hell made the most of. He’d woken tied to a chair and immediately recognized the after effects of a tranquilizer – the headache, the heavy weight of fatigue and disorientation that clung to him. Despite that the first thing that came to his mind was Mac. He’d lifted his head with the kid’s name on his lips only to be rendered speechless. 

Jack closed his eyes on the memory but the image remained. He’d known Murdoc was irrationally obsessed with Mac but to have it manifest in this way…it had never crossed his mind. He’d fought so hard to get free that he’d dislocated his shoulder, fractured both wrists and gave himself such severe rope burn from the length tied around his neck that the scar remained to this day. He’d screamed and cried and raged but nothing had mattered in the end. He’d no choice but to watch as the madman violated his best friend, his partner, the man he’d been in love with for years. Jack wouldn’t find out until later that Murdoc had given Mac something to make him compliant and responsive. It hadn’t mixed well with the tranq and his boy was mostly out of it. Jack thought it was perhaps a mercy but Murdoc was not happy with the lack of cognizance. He’d wanted Mac to know exactly who was in charge and got more than a little rough when it became clear he’d been too heavy handed with the drugs he’d injected. More than once Jack had begged for him to _Stop, please stop, please, please, please…God, please, just stop!_ Mac wasn’t so out of it that he didn’t feel pain, feel the force of Murdoc’s thrusts or his displeasure in the form of bites or slaps when he didn’t respond the way the man wanted. Every so often in the midst of the pain and the violation Mac would call out Jack’s name and it was all but Jack’s undoing, tears streaming freely down his face as he responded. _I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here. You’re not alone._

Jack came back to himself as the pilot announced they were coming in for a landing. It took several blinks for him to realize his lashes were wet and he’d shed a few tears without even knowing it as he relived the memory. He swiped them away. It had taken months of therapy for them separately and then together for Jack to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing he could have done to change what happened. He’d been just as much a victim as Mac had been. Some days he wasn’t sure which was worse, having to witness every moment of the encounter….or to wake up with the feeling of being thoroughly used and bruised but have no actual memory of it but for the flashes of sound and phantom touches that came later.

It shattered their lives. 

It almost broke them. 

It nearly tore them apart. 

But that was a story for another day. Through the trauma, the devastation, the therapy, the support of their friends and family and every single day between then and now that allowed them to heal…they’d found something else. Something Jack had never dared hope for. 

It was just past 11:00 PM when Jack made it to home. He’d come straight from the airport per a text from James that debrief could wait until tomorrow. The man himself met Jack at the door and took his bag. Their eyes met in acknowledgement and relief. “Welcome back,” James said. 

Jack was already scanning for Mac, practically vibrating with his need to get to him. 

“He’s on the deck,” James informed knowingly. “I didn’t tell him you were skipping debrief so he’s not expecting you until later. I figured it would be a nice surprise.” 

“Thank you for being here,” Jack said sincerely. “I couldn’t have left, not even for this, if I hadn’t known he was safe.” 

All of their friends had taken time to be there for Mac while Jack was gone. It was for distraction more than anything, to keep his boy out of that big head of his. James’ hand settled on Jack’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. 

“Go on,” the man encouraged. “I’ll lock up and set the alarm.” 

Jack didn’t need to be told twice. 

Mac was facing away from him, looking out over the city with his arms crossed. Jack paused momentarily just to take in the sight of him. He didn’t think it was possible to love someone more than he loved Angus MacGyver. He’d loved others in the scope of his life of course, Sarah had certainly come close…but they all paled in significance to what he felt for Mac. 

“Is there room out here for one more?” Jack asked as he took the steps to the deck and stopped at the edge.

The speed in which Mac whirled to face him would have been comical were it not for the heartbreaking relief the young man didn’t even try to hide at his unexpected presence. Jack opened his arms as Mac strode towards him and into his embrace with an eagerness that warmed Jack to his toes. “Jack…” 

Jack let out a small “oof” as Mac tackled him in his enthusiasm, arms wrapping tightly around Jack’s mid-section. Jack’s hands were gentle as they settled at the back of Mac’s head and the small of his back respectively. “You miss me?” Jack whispered, surprised when it came out broken. 

Mac shook his head no even as his grip on Jack tightened. It forced a watery laugh out of Jack. “No? Not even a little bit?” 

In response Mac tucked his face into Jack’s neck and so obviously breathed in the scent of him that Jack felt the need to reassure. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” 

Mac seemed beyond words at the moment so Jack just held him, swaying gently and waiting him out. They’d known the separation was going to be hard, but knowing so didn’t make it any easier. Jack had been released by the psychologist for missions but Mac had not. His partner had made himself comfortable in the Phoenix labs and was putting in plenty of work…but he’d yet to be added back to the roster. Jack’s thumb stroked the back of Mac’s neck beneath his hair and enjoyed the solid warmth of the man in his arms. Eventually mac pulled back but didn’t go far. 

“Did everything go okay?” he asked. “You’re not hurt are you?” 

“For once,” Jack assured, hand going to the side of Mac’s face. “Everything went exactly according to plan. And I’m right as rain darlin’ now that I’m here with you.” 

Mac smiled, so comfortable with Jack’s sweet talk by now that he barely blushed anymore. “You sure you’re okay?” Mac asked. “You look tired. Did you sleep?”

Now if that weren’t the pot calling the kettle black…but Jack kept that to himself. Instead he moved them both towards the chaise lounge not far from the fire pit. A new addition added months ago when restless nights drove them to seek open air. If he admitted to needing a bit of rest then just maybe he could convince Mac to do the same. Those baby blues were as gorgeous as ever but they were only ever this expressive when his boy was worn down and exhausted. 

“Eh, you know how it is,” Jack said as he sat down, swinging one leg over to straddle the cushion and tilting his head and raising his brows in askance for Mac to join him. “Jet lag’s a bitch.” Mac came easily and Jack pulled him in against his chest, arms wrapped around him from behind as they tangled their legs. The silence as they settled was comfortable and Jack let it stretch. One of Mac’s hands rested on his forearm and Jack was pleased to note the distinct lack of fidgeting with his leather cuff or tugging at his arm hair as the kid was sometimes prone to do when distressed. 

“I’m glad you’re home,” Mac said with genuine, heartfelt sincerity. 

Jack kissed his temple. “Me too.” And then, just because it was true, “I missed you like crazy.” 

Mac turned to him and Jack stilled as a gentle press of lips met his. They’d shared a few kisses so far and they slept in the same bed but that was about as far as their physical intimacy went. Honestly, Jack didn’t know if it would ever go any further. They’d yet to have that discussion. He also knew that it didn’t matter. He loved Mac. Had loved him for years. If this was the extent of what Mac could give…he’d gladly take it. 

“I love you,” they both said at the same time as the kiss ended, smiling at each other in response. 

Eventually Mac’s head grew heavy on Jack’s shoulder and he snuggled in closer before drifting off to sleep in Jack’s arms. Jack wasn’t too far behind, his head resting on Mac’s and secure in the knowledge that Murdoc no longer posed a threat to his boy. Neither of them woke when James came to check on them and covered them with a throw to ward off the evening chill. Jack knew the man was close by and wouldn’t leave them unprotected. For the first time since their lives had been thrown into turmoil…Jack slept like a baby. And maybe, just maybe, Mac sensed Jack’s inner peace because not once did the young man stir. 

They slept the entire night through on the deck, both of them more than a little surprised when they woke to the first rays of early morning sunshine. 

A new day. 

A new beginning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
